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You've somehow stumbled upon the page of Dan DeWitt, genre-hopping author of the zombie thriller ORPHEUS, the Norse mythology adventure ODINSONS, and the horror short-story collection UNDERNEATH. There's lots more where those came from, so stick around.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Cliches and other stuff that you'll never see in my writing.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, so let's jump right in.

* "Where are we? More like when are we?"

* A hard-drinking cop whose next case will either save his life...or end it.

* By the same token, said cop's screaming sergeant/lieutenant.

* A car horn going off in one long, somber note because someone's slumped dead against it. Try it the next time you're in your car.

* "Now that's what I call (fill in the blank)!"

* Someone being saved by a sniper's bullet because they just happened to drop their cell phone at the perfect moment.

* A character coming back from the dead (a la Ian Malcolm in Crichton's "The Lost World.") When I kill them, they stay dead.

* A "Mary Sue." And, yes, giving a Mary Sue one charming flaw (e.g. can't cook, allergic to burlap) counts.

* "I've heard of (fill in the blank) before, but this is ridiculous!"

* A character "shrugging his shoulders." A shrug, by definition, involves shoulders. Brought this up on Twitter the other day. No longer felt alone.

* A traitor revealing himself by saying something dumb, then another character saying, "Wait, how do you know? I never said anything about (fill in the blank)."

* A character who exists solely to be the object of ridicule as a form of comic relief.

* "Wait, if you're here, that means...oh, no!"

* "I've never (fill in the blank) in my life, and I don't intend to start now."

* A tattooed/albino, self-abusive, celibate, religious zealot assassin who likes to admire himself naked. By law, only Dan Brown can do this.

2 comments:

  1. What about characters Arching their Eyebrows?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting list. How about:
    Bad guys hear sirens in the distance.
    "It's the cops. Let's get out of here!"

    ReplyDelete